A Mystical experience that changed my reality

A few weeks ago I was on a spiritual retreat.

 

On the Saturday morning of the retreat we had our first Kundalini yoga session. 

 

Our teacher Shannon told us to put our arms straight out in front of us, in line with our shoulders, then raise them up above our heads, then back down to shoulder height. 

 

Up and down.

 

Up and down. 

 

We did it for a couple of rounds of breaths... then she said, "we're going to do this for 11 minutes."

 

What happened next I will never forget... an experience that has changed my life (and work) forever. 

 

 

 

 

Shannon: "We're going to do this for 11 minutes."

 

My mind: (with a feeling of absoloute terror) "11 minutes! There's no way I can do this for 11 minutes!" 

 

 

 

 

Shannon: "Do not put your arms down."

 

 

 

My mind: "Ok. Plan B- Cheat! When she’s not looking- rest your arms!"

 

 

 

Shannon: "Do not put your arms down."

 

 

 

With all possibilities of 'not doing it' gone, my mind shifted. 

 

 

 

(This in itself was a transformational moment; when we  drop all possibilities that we can't do something, it's truely monumental what the wakes up inside of us). 

 

 

My mind: "Ok, how am I going to do this?"

 

 

 

In that moment, as I opened up to the possibilities of actually doing this (without cheating), a beautiful spirit guide appeared in front of me.

 

 

 

She appeared as a young woman with piercing presence + deep wisdom. 

 

 

 

She didn’t have a name, but here, let’s call her Violet- cause that’s the colour she felt like.

 

 

 

In that moment, she was more real to me than all the other women in the room. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 minute mark:

 

Violet, in a slow, loving voice: "Come to me," (I knew that she meant, enter her vibrational frequency). 

 

 

 

 

Me, bawling my eyes out: "I can’t. I can’t get out of here. I can't get out of this body and the pain"

 

 

 

 

 

Violet- "You’re already here. See."

 

 

 

 

I couldn't see. 

 

 

 

 

Every time I glimpsed her reality of peace, presence + timelessness, the excruciating pain in my arms and back pulled me into my body… into my mind… into time. 

 

 

 

 

 

7 minute mark:

 

Me- still bawling, louder now so everyone could hear me… "I can’t. I can’t do it. I’m trapped here. It’s too dense to move through."

 

 

 

Violet- "You’re already here. See."

 

 

 

The other women in the room were loudly chanting and singing Sanskrit to move through their own pain. I felt so held by their voices and the sacred words they were repeating over and over.  

 

 

 

 

9 minute mark:

 

 

By allowing myself to release the tears and express my deepest fears (of letting go of my human identity - body - time - reality as I knew it) I began to feel a shift. 

 

 

 

There became a deeper truth present. A new reality emerging as my fear was releasing. 

 

 

 

Arms still moving up and down. 

 

 

 

I started to feel lighter... in every sense of the word.

 

 

 

 

My tears turned into laughter. Laughter at the illusion of who we think we are.

 

 

 

And the realisation of what Yogi's call the great cosmic joke! 

 

 

 

Violet- "You’re here."

 

 

 

And I was. 

 

 

 

My mind and my awareness were outside of my body and outside of time. 

 

 

 

 

I was witnessing my arms still moving up and down, but I felt no pain.

 

 

 

My arms were just moving on their own- directed from an intelligence within my own body.  

 

 

 

I felt peace, presence + pleasure. The truth of who I am - the truth of who we are. 

 

 

 

Our 11 minutes were up, but I could have kept going forever because there was no attachment to my body... and therefore no pain to experience. 

 

 

 

I remained in this state for a couple of hours. Eating, walking along the beach, chatting to the other retreat participants. 

 

 

 

Simply connected and content. 

 

 

 

A place of timelessness where I existed everywhere and was everything. 

 

 

 

 

Vowing to never forget the truth of that moment and the truth of the reality that we are always apart of.

 

 

 

 

 

So my dear friend.

 

 

You’re already here,

 

 

See. 

 

 

 

 

Love always Jus x

 

 

 

Beautiful art by Danielle Noel